Truly A Weekend to Remember

Two weekends ago, Scott and I were given the opportunity to go to a marriage retreat called "A Weekend to Remember". Family Life puts these conferences on all over the nation, and that weekend they did one in Estes Park. Scott and I weren't really sure what to expect from this marriage conference, so we were a little nervous when we first got there. Boy were we suprised! It was just what we needed to tune-up our marriage and refocus our attention on eachother. It was such a blessing!

Scott's parents were so wonderful for not only organizing this marriage retreat for us, but they also watched Adyson all weekend so we wouldnt have to worry about her. It was so gracious and thoughtful of them!

After we dropped Ady off with Bill and Tricia, we headed up the canyon to Estes Park. We quickly grabbed a Subway sandwich on our way through town, and got all settled into our hotel. We had just enough time to scarff our sandwiches and get to our first session. WOW! We were blown away by the great information and helpful advice they offered. After just about every session, we were given a small project to work on seperately and then together. Each project solidified the lessons we had just learned and helped us to get a deeper understanding of the information.

The main event of the weekend was on Saturday night, where they gave us an entire evening to enjoy a romantic date just the two of us. Scott took me to a fancy restaurant called Mary's Lake Lodge, and it was such a special time for us to enjoy a DELICIOUS meal and great conversation. It felt like we were in a movie. There was a fresh layer of snow that covered the town, and it was almost completely silent except for the gentle flutter of snowflakes. The restaurant had tinkly lights, soft music, candle light, and delicious food. Scott and I enjoyed every minute! Here's a picture of us after dinner.

I dont have time to type all of the things that Scott and I took away and learned, but I will share one of our favorite lessons. During the fourth session, Saturday morning, the speaker was talking about God's plan for oneness in in our marriages. On the top of one of the pages of our speaker notes, there was a list of weaknesses. Doug was talking about why it is difficult to experience oneness in our marriages, and that one of the biggest hinderences is our tendency to focus on our spouse's weeknesses or our own. The list of weaknesses looked like this: impatient

indecisive

disorganized

overly talkative

critical

demanding

As he read the list outloud, Scott and I both felt convicted because we both are guilty of spending a lot of time focusing... scratch that... obsessing over eachother's weaknesses and our own. It is often easier to write a list of weaknesses than strengths, isnt it?

Well, Doug asked us to look at this list carefully. He said,"Now, what would happen if we turned those weaknesses around to their positive form? For each weakness, there is a positive. Just watch." And sure enough, he went on to describe the personality behind each weakness. He asked us what type of person is usually impatient. The answer? Usually someone who is great at making decisions. What type of person is indecisive? Usually they are very laid back and easy going. A disorganized person is usually someone who is a great people person and servant hearted. What about an overly talkative person? Arent they usually a great communicator and socialite? A critical person is usually blessed with an analytical and intelligent mind.; and a demanding personality is usually found with someone who is a quick thinker and someone who gets things done. After the speaker switched the focus from the weakness to the personality behind it, he asked, "Weren't those the personalities that you fell in love with to begin with?" *ZING* He nailed it.

To make it personal, I have been frustrated in the past with Scott's critical mind and attitude. Sometimes he drives be crazy because he is so critical of everything and everyone. When Doug challenged me to ask the question of what kind of person is usually critical and I found the answer was someone who is intelligent and analytical, my jaw dropped. One of the first things I fell in love with about Scott was his increddible intelligence, discernement, and wit. I love his ability to think rationally and logically in all situations, and his great ability to retain information. He is truly one of the smartest people I know, and I love that about him. Although Scott does need to work on his critical attitude that can sometimes hurt other's feelings or get in the way of our oneness, there is a positive to that weakness. What a great reminder!

Scott felt the same way about this lesson too. He gets frustrated that I am often so disorganized, but he found it to be a great reminder that usually the reason I am so disorganized is because I would rather be spending my time with people instead of filing our bills or folding laundry. I definately need to be more organized, but Scott now can see the positive in the negative. He has always loved how people-oriented I am. Isnt that cool?

I challenge you to write down those negatives that you find yourself focusing on in either your spouse or yourself, and to do this same exercise. Flip them around and try to see the positive. It was so eye-opening for Scott and me, and I hope it is the same way for you too!

The conference ended on Sunday around noon. They had us all renew our wedding vows to eachother and gave us all a wedding covenant to sign and hang up in our homes. It was such a great ending to a great weekend. I was so happy to get home to Adyson, though. Two nights away from her was a long time when I am used to seeing her all day every day. She had a great time with her Nana and Pappy, though!

Have a great week!
Love,
Karen Ruth